Posts Tagged ‘ Relationships ’

The One…

couples with heart

You know very well, who you are, you’re the only one, you have my heart… And I don’t need no one baby, without you I’m incomplete, our love is just like the bar, put it all in me…
It’s so amazing when two people decide to commit themselves to eachother… Love & Relationship is such a GOD-TRAIT… Over the last couple of months I’ve had so many marriage invitations, people are welcoming babies to their families and I’m really enjoying all this LOVE. It’s amazing how you feel when someone decides to take care if you, they have your best interests at heart, they want you well, healthy, you become their PRIORITY, it’s a beautiful feeling and we all DESERVE it!!! That’s what we here for, why it’s such a welcomed feeling and one we all, whether we acknowledge it or not, CRAVE for… There’s nothing wrong with being loved, it’s built in us. God loved us first, He showed us how to love and it’s innate that we keep on loving!!! I believe everyone will feel complete, feel like they have a purpose once they discover what it is to give and receive love.
But I believe that now, the reason relationships are going wrong, and why there’s so much anxiety surrounding love is because people are scared of being in that VULNERABLE state. Check this situation out, you’re a female and you’ve been approached by someone you see round the way in a regular basis, this guy is now telling you how he’s been watching you for a while, really likes what your about and wants to get to know you… Most ladies may find this a bit creepy, but this guy is really being genuine and wants to do just that – get to know you… This day in age it’s quite rare for a guy to approach a girl in this manner, in my personal experience guys feel they are doing ladies a favor by being with them, they MISTREAT ladies and take total advantage by playing into their EMOTIONS, because of this some ladies become closed and put up a guard which makes it harder for the next guy to really get to know them, which is a shame because that next guy could possibly hold all the traits she is looking for. Because of the ex, the lady is now in a fear state seeing all GUYS as the same and therefore not allowing herself to be vulnerable. Ladies I’m sure we’re all familiar with the saying ‘you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince..’ – We need to understand that every experience and relationship we go through is an opportunity to learn about ourselves and ESTABLISH what we will and will not tolerate. They are opportunities to feather out what you really want in a partner and how we want them to make us feel, there’s no point going into a situation blindsided and without experience or purpose, you’ll set yourself up for failure and DISAPPOINTMENT. I have to admit, I’ve been victim of this so many times, but now I know exactly what I want and because I’ve made myself immune to the BS I can recognise the good stuff when I see it.
Also this fear of love and fear if vulnerability can come from never experiencing LOVE. You know they say that your childhood stays with you forever, whatever you learn, see and experience as a child molds you and haunts you in your adult life. Sometimes our feelings and a PERCEPTION about certain things derives from what we’ve been exposed to as children and this can become hard to shake because they become EMBEDDED in us. If these are negative associations, lets allow our adult experiences and opportunities to teach us that we may be seeing it all WRONG. This can CHANGE, ideas can CHANGE and how we feel towards live and anything else for that matter can CHANGE.
So today, I want to ENCOURAGE ladies and GENTLEMEN to stay open-minded in all relationships, once you know what you’re looking for it will not be hard for you to FIND it. Understand that every EXPERIENCE you go through is a LEARNING CURVE and really take from it an understanding of SELF! Everyone deserves LOVE, whether you are giving it or receiving it, give someone the opportunity to get to know you for who you are, the things you think LEAST about yourself will be the things that make you AMAZING to somebody else.




Via Kush & Wizdom

Get On The Bus…

Get On The Bus

Ummmm… Better catch a cab, get on the bus…!!!

Ok, so at my tender age of 20 & some change, you know I’ve had my experiences (some I’d rather forget) with the opposite sex. I was just sitting down the other day and thinking about my previous’ relationships and the nonsense us females have to deal with… Fast forward because I don’t have time to go through all the issues but I realised that a lot of the time people, no actually FEMALES get taken advantage of in relationships and this because they don’t understand their SELF-WORTH! It’s extremely important to KNOW YOUR PLACE in any situation especially those of relationships because if not you can easily be taken ADVANTAGE of and misused, and trust me you will not know what hit you once your situation had gone sour. Not understanding your place sets you up for HURT, you begin to feel like you FAILED, like you’ve just become someones past time, of no PURPOSE and disappointed! During my younger days, when I first started dating I didn’t have a clue as to what I wanted out of my relationships, I didn’t know what I was BRINGING to my relationships, I didn’t know what kind of person I wanted to date or why I even wanted to date them… These were all messed up relationships, they brought NO GROWTH, nothing but stress the feeling if disappointment and REJECTION… It’s a hard place to be at when you’re new, inexperienced and IMMATURE. The biggest lesson I’ve learnt in growing up is how important it is to know what you want and STICK TO YOUR GUNS, it keeps you STRONG minded, it gives you AMMUNITION when you have to defend yourself, it allows you not fall in the face of ADVERSITY and most importantly, it gives you MORALS (one thing most people lack today), benchmarking how much BULLSHIT you are willing to take!!!

So if your not sure and confused about what you want, don’t venture into the path of the unknown… Understand your needs and aim to meet them… If you end up in a place where you can’t be yourself or you feel like your not gaining what you desire, tell the person to get on the bus cos ain’t nobody got time for that… Lol…


{Open Diary} I Heart Her…

“Step back and put on your stunners cos these ladies are about to shine”

I had kind of, in my head dedicated this week to my SPECIAL friends. The idea came after spending some time with someone who I hadn’t seen or spoken to in a long while, and that moment just ENCOURAGED me to consider the people who in my life actually meant something to me and COMPLIMENTED the person I am. CONFIRMATION for this idea was hitting me all week, I would randomly see quotes or articles which related to friendships and I got word of something which really TUGGED at the strings in my heart.

My DEFINITION of a friend is someone who is there or you at all times, their presence and support can not be replicated, just seeing them in the distance automatically BOOSTS your CONFIDENCE, their words are encouraging whether positive or negative and they tell it like it is all the time. I friend would never stab you in the back because they are PROTECTING you from the front. I don’t have many of these in my life, but the ones I do have, I TREASURE, because they have shown me things that have aidded me in becoming the person I am today, they have given me the opportunity to BLOSSOM and grow spiritually and mentally while being there every step of the way pushing me towards my PARAMOUNT. They will never betray you regardless of the circumstance they’re in; they don’t let things happen without analysing what effect will could have on you.

Here’s a little something on my top 3 selected, minus 1…

This is about a lady of virtue I grew up with, we were separated for almost 10 years, but when we found each other, it was on!!! I have to be honest, we don’t talk or see each other as much as we would like to; due to the stresses of life, but there’s a mutual respect there, a mutual understand, an unwritten law, and we know that deep down, if worst was to come to worst, we know we’re riding for each other. I seen this lady go through some bits and bobs and I love her so much because she has overcome gracefully. She is an inspiration. She delivers a smile, one that the moment you witness your heart begins to melt and love is spread. Her smile is her gateway to happiness, it’s a true reflection of how she feels inside because, (I ain’t gonna lie), she’s a tough cookie, so when smiling, its the truth, it’s genuine. She teaches me that I should say what I mean, I should strive and keep on pushing because at the end of the day, everything boils down to me. She knows she’s valued and she understands that it’s not the people around her that can bring her joy, she’s strong minded and highly opinionated with elegance and poise. She’s beautiful inside and out, her beauty lingers after she’s left a room – not her physical beauty, but rather the innate graces, elegance, the unspeakable levels that have been gifted to her, the ones that give her her identity, they can not be replicated. but are definitly admired.

This next lady is someone I met later in life, and to be honest, it couldn’t be at a more perfect time. She reminds me of my mum because of her charisma and her patience, this lady really has taught me patience. I love her because people mistake her kindness for weakness, but she never lets that effect her because she knows her worth, she knows she was created for a purpose and she has dreams to make come true, as she would say “i don’t have time for this”. It’s amazing because someone so calm can be so powerful in her few words and actions. The future is going to be far more than she imagined because she’s humble. She’s an inspiration because she has taught me that other people words shouldn’t effect me personally, but they should be boosters for me to do greater or they become indicators of charactors I don’t need to be around. She speaks truth and wisdom beyond her years and like my other friend, she carries God’s grace effortlessly.

I know that these ladies where put into my life for a specific reason that only God knows, and I too, the same for them. You will ever know when you are truly going to need someone, and you may not realise but you are always learning and growing so surround yourself with people who add to you and treasure them. Each day we should take heed and notice the positive elements in our lives and encourage that kind of energy, more of it is needed for us to become better people. As for the negative, don’t disregard it, learn, adapt, make a mental note and move on!!

Borrow Me Your Watch…


I came to a realisation today, well it has been something that I’ve been contemplating for a while, I’ve been pondering on it for a long while, but I think it really hit home today… I was just jamming, ran a couple of errands; I came to the conclusion that there’s a lot of responsibilities riding on my shoulders, I didn’t realise how may actions, my decisions even my presence affect so many people and total strangers.

I have been loaned this life, this body, these skills and talents to go out in the world and affect as many people as possible, the more I use what I have been given, the greater my reward in eternity. It’s simple, the same way T-Mobile borrowed me the body of a Blackberry Curve, with the skills of 3000 minutes and the talent of unlimited texts; the same way God has loaned me ME. T-Mobile are excited when I utilise my minutes, over excited when I go over that every  year they give me a free upgrade of my body free of charge, providing that I carry on what I been doing before. The more I use my body to its full capacity, the easier it is for my God to get excited about me and smile on me; He upgrades my life with every instance I upgrade someone else.

Moses was given a simple set of obligations for all mankind to follow, very simple, what many people don’t realise is that 6 out of the 10 commandments are about RELATIONSHIPS; with our Saviour and our brethren. We are firstly encouraged to love God and then one another. Loving God starts with loving ourselves because we are a reflection of His image. He designed all of us individually to exert His Love. Therefore if you love yourself conditionally, you are automatically telling God “I Love You Maaaaan…..”. Secondly, loving our brothers as ourselves, this is where many people find it hard because loving someone unconditionally is a chore in itself, but Jesus teaches us to ‘turn the other cheek – (Matthew 5:39)’  in all circumstances where our brothers may hurt us or disrespect us. So why then is it so hard, simple, its because we are human; we feel, we have emotions, we have morals and if anyone was to come at us and go against us, we automatically feel to retaliate. But in these situations is where we have to step aside as a human and allow our spirit to take over and demonstrate the agape love that Jesus demonstrated. With this in mind as can go out and reflect the spirit that God has given us, but its a long journey in itself, its a continuous process which can  be achieved through faith and prayer, but remember it starts with self love, because its hard to love others if you don’t love yourself.

But our time is numbered, God has loaned us so much, He created us in our being for a purpose, but it up to us to find out what the purpose is before its too late. So next time someone asks you to do them a favour, do it immediately with a smile, next time you come across and old lady wanting to cross the road, hold her hand and escort her across the road with a smile, next time your church asks you to participate in an event, participate., go that extra mile and do more than what they would expect; ‘If someone forces you to go one mile… go two – (Matthew 5:41)’. It all adds up, every time you help another being, angels smile down on you, and your life is upgraded so you can function well with the next task, and everything you do, do it to the Glory of God because you never know when your minutes are going to run out, or when your watch battery stops, and it comes to that moment when you have to give account for your  life actions.

“When people are serving, life is no longer meaningless. You are not called to get by, you are called to go above and beyond” – John Gardener

Kirk Franklin – The Last Jesus

Naa Adoley